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I do believe horses become frustrated, confused, and scared. Sometimes, a certain maneuver hurts or because of their build or body type they just plain cannot perform the action as well as we would like. When they are asked to do something that they do not know how to do, or have been punished for doing it wrong, (when doing what they thought you were asking them to do), they become scared and confused. The same is true for a behavior that is rewarded, it will be repeated. Thus, the condition-response holds true.
When my mare does something wrong or makes a mistake, I look to myself first. If there isn't a medical or physical reason for the mistake, then I didn't teach it or ask it correctly. Thus, the condition-response again. Look to yourself first. What are you asking? How are you asking? Does your horse understand? Can your horse do it? Are you asking too much too soon? Has he been taught to do it correctly? Remember, horses are only almost human, and as such are fallible, just as we are. Don't be too hard on your horse and don't be too hard on yourself.
I believe horses are very intelligent animals that God created for us to enjoy and with which to share a special bond. They weren't created to be impatient with or scolded because we don't understand why we cannot get the results we want. When you are not getting the results you want, then you have not taught it correctly, are not asking correctly, or are not asking in the way your horses can understand. Are you asking the same way each time, or are you changing the question? Horses are not human, they do not respond as humans nor will they ever. Horses do not act on emotions (as we do). Horses re-act on instinct, to you, their environment, and other horses. So, when working with your horse, remove your emotions and see the response for what it is, instinct, and don't take it personally. Horses don't know how to do things on a personal level. Do you want your horse to fear you or respect you? Do you make sense to him in a language he can understand? Just think of all the times when you are out there trying to get your horse to do something and not knowing the correct cues. Most of the time they just hang in there until it is figured out. You need to remember that your horse speaks a whole different language then you do, and you being human and having the intellect must be the one to make the effort to be understood.
Example: You go into a drug store and are very much in need of a certain item. The person behind the counter does not understand English. You start by using sign language and making silly noises trying to speak in some form of their language. You can't afford to get mad or make the person behind the counter mad because you really need this item. So, you take a deep breath and try again. Now the person behind the counter really wants and is trying to understand what you need. They are trying to please you and so you both start working together. They go to the back and bring different items out trying to get closer and closer to the correct one. Then finally it happens, they bring out the right item and you are happy. They are happy when they see your smile. You shake their hand for their effort and how they hung in there with you until you figured out the correct cue for that specific item. What's more important is the next time you walk into that store and say or do whatever it was that triggered the correct response (your cue), you may only need to ask once. On the other, hand if you would have lost your temper and screamed, banging your fist down on the counter, neither of you would be happy and neither of you would have gotten the desired result or learned a thing. Remember when your horse knickers or whinnies at you do you understand exactly what he is saying?
As with a nervous horse, or one that is having a hard time standing still, give him something else to do. Give his mind something else to think about. Remove the fear (flight or fight instinct), and replace it with a thinking mind. When you give your horse something to do, that he knows how to do, he will be more calm and pay attention to you. Having his mind on you, and a task, gives him something to think about instead of just re-acting on his instincts. Pick something that he does well and do not make it a punishment, make it a reward. "By showing him pleasure when he is feeling fear or confusion, you will become his safe place." If he is in a confusing situation and feeling scared and is also afraid of you, where is he going to find safety and comfort? This is a bad situation just waiting to get worse. Use this time to build trust in your relationship. Make a positive out of a negative situation. Respect makes for a good horse.
Every horse is different, with different backgrounds, personalities and different learning levels, along with different abilities and timetables. Training techniques can be the same for each horse, if moderated for each horse's unique abilities and needs.
Having said all of that, I want to reinforce that you must build a trusting relationship with your horse, not a fearful one. Along with teaching a lesson, teach and instill trust and comfort. It will be your payoff in the future. Your lessons and your trust will last a lifetime. It will be what you can count on when he isn't up to the challenge but will give you his whole heart and soul just because you asked. This is the horse that will take you to your dreams!
